Perplexed Feelings!!

 You messaged me 'Good Morning'.

My reply made me seem busy.

You are right, I was distorting.

Did I act silly?

I don't know,

what I did was right or wrong.

I had to show

since it had been long.

Time has changed,

so have the situations.

And I am perplexed

with my expectations.

I do love you

but don't know what to do.

It's been a while

since I heard from you.

I didn't chat that very day

though I wished to have some say.

But then I realized something,

that made me reply nothing.

I didn't wish to hurt myself.

You know, my presumptions have spell

and so when I want to be fresh

I use these papers and pens.

I am bewildered, I swear.

I don't want you to mess.

What I wish is just to yell

with some tears since no one cares.

I am trying to stop my steps

to protect myself from emotional depths.

Why at times feelings act as nightmares?

Maybe, I need some love for myself.

Lately, I have been stressed.

I know you can guess.

These are my expectations,

which makes me crap.

I need some time,

to make myself right.

The last thing I want to add;

Are expectations bad?

                           -Advaita Singh!

Things were Never Better!

 

With you, things were never better.

Though I thought with time they'll not matter.

There was time I felt things were finner,

but it never happened, instead got messier.

Yes, I desired to know you,

but they led me to change you to new.

Although I didn't want to change your say

or myself in any which way.

I don't want to put any barrier,

maybe I am possessive so act superior.

Knowing you is not easy

and my desire makes me seem creepy.

 I know 'you, not loving me' is not your fault,

but at times taking other's fault can exalt one.

Ya, I wished to give up

but my desire acted as a cover-up.

                            -Advaita Singh

I want to distant you!

 I want to distant you.

It's not because of you but because of me.

I think what's between us is not meant to be.

I don't want our friendship to break into a fight.

So it's better to distant, at least for a while.

It's not easy but I have to,

if not for me then at least for you.

What I am is something you'll not understand.

For it, you don't even have to pretend.

I am complex like a puzzle.

At times I can even be trouble.

But I don't want you to tussle,

though together we can chuckle.

What I say is ironic of what I do.

There was a time when I wanted you to know me too.

Today is a time I am tired of it, 

So I feel it's better to distant not to quit.

You may say let's sit and talk.

"But I am serious," I'll say, wishing I was not.

                                         -Advaita Singh!

I'll not regret!!

 I'll not regret,

for not confessing my sadness to you.

 I'll not regret, 

for not confessing my madness for you.

But surely regret ,

to feel you as one of my loved one.

I felt maybe seeing me sad,

 you'll say something sweet that will lit me up,

But I was at a fault,

for expecting you as the one.

I am not angry or upset from you. 

I am not mad or fret at you.

Rather I am calm and at peace,

since I accept the reality.

I used to love and still love you.

Don't worry, I am no more expecting from few

and nor would I force you to love me back.

But I am also a human and as per human traits,

at times expectations are not bad.

And in those times of expectations 

I'll not stop myself 

because I am a sweet little girl

 and a human who loves. 

                                 -Advaita Singh